Wanderlust
by lightinside
Summary: Joanna Smith has always dreamed of leaving England and when her brother John procures them both spot on a ship sailing across the Pacific with the hope of a new discovery, Joanna gives in to her wanderlust. She finds herself in Jamestown and discovers that the Powhatan Indians dwelling around her are not savages at all. Does she dare find love amidst war? Or will it destroy her?
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay, so I decided to start this story because I've had major issues with the movie 'Pocahontas' all my life and I have finally decided to fix some of the things that always bothered me. I adore the movie, of course, but my fangirl OCD has finally kicked in. I will write until I am satisfied with the way things turn out and I hope that you guys will enjoy the story as it develops! **_

_**{Thank you Lady Gisborne 15 for being as excited for me about this project as I was!} My posting this is probably extremely premature, as I only started this about four or five hours ago and am making a very rash decision to post it. *cringes* Ohhh well... **_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

As a little girl in England, I never saw race as much of an issue. People were people and that was the end of it, as it should be for all children. Adults, as well, the way I saw it. Now that I looked back on it, however, I wondered how aware you could be at six years old. How could you know that everyone thought that having skin darker than what society considered normal was something that was labeled as abominable? I never did understand that. I still didn't, to this day, fifteen years later.

And the day my older brother, John – the first of the Smith boys – came flouncing in the house with a smile as big as the moon stretching his lips so wide I thought it must have hurt, I expected that whatever he had to tell my family would be welcomed. That it would make them just as happy as he was.

But it wasn't so.

"John!" My mother gasped as she heard his news, clutching at her heart as she sank down in one of the chairs she had placed around the parlor. "You'll be killed! A journey overseas. To claim land where _they_ are? Those _savages_?"

"Mother!" The word flew from my mouth before I could think to hold my tongue.

"You hush this instant, Joanna." She snapped at me, silencing my protests before turning back to my sympathetic if not irritated brother. "John, you cannot be serious."

"I _am _serious. Ratcliffe has asked me to go along with the ships. Thomas is going, too." John said, throwing Thomas's name in for good measure. "Someone's got to look out for the clumsy rascal."

"And what of your education?" Mother queried, fanning herself lightly. "You'll not be eligible to marry if you've not an education, John! Not a penny to your name either, if you keep up this silly adventuring business."

"Education is out there." John answered coolly. "Besides. Joanna knows enough for the two of us."

I often envied his calm - the way he never seemed to be put off by my mother's eccentricities. I never thought, growing up, that his feathers could ever be ruffled by anything other than sheer excitement. But today, I could tell, that our mother was taxing him in the worst way possible.

"What does Joanna have to do with this, John? This is about _you_. _Your_ future. Joanna will make her own way in the world. She'll marry and be provided for..."

I tuned out with an aggravated sigh. What my mother would never know, or at least never acknowledge, was that my taste for adventure strongly rivaled my brother's. I longed to trade in my dresses for slacks and take to the seas and would do so in an instant if I was given the chance. I didn't want to marry. I didn't want to be provided for. I wanted to provide for myself – to make a life in the way that I saw fit. In this society, though, I knew that I never would. Not unless nothing shy of a miracle happened upon me.

"Mother, Joanna is going with me." John declared evenly, never glancing my way once. "To Jamestown. That's what they'll call it, I suspect. Good name. A little imposing, if I do say so myself, but I suppose it might stick…"

"_JOHN SMITH_!" My mother shouted, leaping from her seat. "Tell me you did not procure your sister a place on that filthy vessel."

John nodded. "We leave tomorrow morning." And before my mother could faint or burst several blood vessels, I saw him wink at me with the smallest smile curling up the corners of his lips.

My brother, I decided then, must have been the angel that I had craved all my life. He'd always been thoughtful and encouraging – the perfect picture of what every older brother should aspire to be. But never had he encouraged me to do what he was suggesting now. Every time I had mentioned it, he was always practical. Always reminding me that I was a lady and that I would be the object of every gentleman's affections, should I carry on in a respectable way.

Taking off on a ship bound for America was hardly respectable – hardly what one would desire in a potential wife, the insatiable need for adventure. But I found that in this one moment, I didn't have it in me to care.

"Joanna!" My mother screeched, cheeks flushed from her own exaggerated excitement. "You're not going are you, sweet? Think of it! A boat full of men for what could be _months!_ And think of the storms, Joanna! There's no guarantee you'll make it home!" When she got no response, my mother finally noticed the dreamy look that I'm sure was permanently plastered on my face. "_Joanna_! Are you listening?"

"I'm going with John." I tried out the words for the first time, letting them sit on my lips for a few moments before I said them again. "I'm leaving England."

I think it was then that my mother decided to faint.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you guys for your response! I can honestly say that I didn't really expect much out of this story in regard to reviews or follows, but I've been pleasantly surprised. Thank you Babyb26 and Lady Gisborne 15 for your reviews! I really hope you enjoy this chapter of Wanderlust! _**

**_-lightinside_**

* * *

The next morning, trying to hide from my mother who insisted upon having the servants packing every petticoat and corset I owned for the trip, I sat in my brother's room while he gathered his things.

"Why did you decide to take me with you?" I asked him quietly. "You never offered me an opportunity like this before, John. You never encouraged me to be like you. Why now?"

John stopped what he was doing and looked at me, hair the color of corn silk framing his face in the same way I'd seen it since he was a boy. "If I had left you here with mother, she would have smothered the adventure out of you and you would be married and a mother yourself by the time I returned. I can't consciously leave you to her mercy, Joanna. I wouldn't be a very good brother." With a teasing smile, he continued packing his things and I was left to ponder over his words.

"Was she right? About there being no other women on the boat?"

John arched one of his eyebrows without ever looking at me. "Scared, little one?"

"Well, no. At least, I don't quite think so. Worried would be a better word, I believe." I confessed, wringing my hands in my lap. "I've never left home. You know that. And though I've always wanted to – I'd gladly have settled for being a deck hand if that meant I had gotten to go with you – I can't help but wonder if everything will truly be alright."

"You'll be with me, Joanna." John reminded me with an easy smile. "Everything will be perfectly fine."

"And… John… even though I am glad to be going, I don't agree with _why_ the exploration was put together. Jamestown, John. Really? The English may have ambitions, but we certainly do not have the right to take away someone else's land by force. No one does."

"Whenever did you become so political?" He asked, surprised by my candor.

"Since all I ever hear about are the supposed 'savages' that we'll be invading." I muttered bitterly. "Why is it so wrong? Why is being different so horrible? I don't understand. They cannot be that bad."

"I agree." John admitted. "But there is so much yet to be discovered, Joanna. Some things… well, sacrifices have to be made on everyone's part in order for the world to advance. It is just how things are."

"I don't like it." I told him. "No one should have to suffer in order for advances to be made. And by suffer, before you interrupt," I said when he opened his mouth, "I mean, for example, invading a strange land and forcing its inhabitants into a state of panic, confusion, and distrust as we usher them out of their homes with fire and threats of war. I know of Ratcliffe and his reputation. It isn't right and I won't support anyone who thinks it is."

John hesitated for a moment, unsure of how he should proceed after what I had said, before breaking out in a broad grin. "Opinionated. Just like father." Though stunned by his statement of our father who had been deceased since I was seven years old, I was moved almost to tears. "He would be so proud of you, Joanna."

"Then I suppose I've done _something_ right." I murmured and stood from my seat, smoothing my dress subconsciously. "I think I've done enough hiding. Mother will come hunt me down if I don't show my face sooner or later."

John laughed, the kind of laugh that was so large the person threw their head back just a little to release it. I knew that meant that John's spirits were soaring. I knew that he was just as glad to be getting out of England as I was. "Talk of war? Fearless. Storms? No problem. And then there's _Mother_…"

"Hush." I giggled, shoving his arm. "You'll be sorry if she catches you dawdling. I think she's decided that if we cannot be persuaded to stay then the sooner we leave and stop sullying the family's name, the better."

"I'm sure." John snickered, tossing his pack over his shoulder. "Always so dramatic."

"Are you going to the docks?"

"Not without you." John promised. "But I do need to see if Thomas is here. I made him swear that he would ride with us." I watched my older brother sigh heavily, as if the responsibility of looking after his younger friend was almost too much. "That boy… It will be a wonder if he still has his head on his shoulders when we return."

I smiled, reflecting on Thomas's never ending and unsurprising tendency to fall over nothing or drop the lightest thing – a vase or a suitcase, even – in just the right way so that it was either broken or damaged beyond repair. It was a wonder to me how he ever made it through childhood alive. "Don't let him forget to tell his mother goodbye."

"He couldn't forget that even if he tried." John told me and glanced around before planting his feet firmly on the stairs. "Better hurry."

"Will do. Go on." I ushered him and hurried toward my doom as I heard my mother fussing over the remaining bags that Charles, our footman, had left sitting outside my door.

I apologized to him quietly as my mother continued to lose what little cool she had left and stormed all about the room, screeching about the clothes not being stored properly, the linens this and that, the room was too dusty – Joanna would suffocate living in a place like this, etc.

For a moment, I could have laughed at the idea that she thought an abundance of dust gathering on the baseboards of my room was what had clouded my judgment and was therefore the entire reason I was abandoning her and going abroad with my brother.

"I'm not abandoning you, mother." I murmured, stepping up to her in the hopes of giving her some small consolation. "I won't be gone long. You will see me again soon."

"Joanna…" She sighed, taking my hand. "Dear, you are making such a mistake."

"Mother…"

"No, darling, listen. I know that I'm not the easiest person to live with. Your father reminded me of it often. He told me to be easier on you – on your brothers, too, but especially you. Joanna, you aren't ready for the world. The cruelty of it."

"I can hardly imagine anything crueler than you referring to people you've never laid eyes on as savages, Mother." I scolded her quietly, but refused to take my eyes off of her so as to convey my message clearly. "It's so shallow, even for you."

"You think me shallow, Joanna?"

"You can be, yes. Among other things."

My mother sighed and patted my hand before releasing it. "So much like your brother. And both of you are like your father. It seems that I will always be outnumbered."

"Yes, it does seem that way." I answered with a gentle smile before kissing her cheek. "I love you, mother. I will see you sooner than you think."

"Go on, dearest." She conceded. "The carriage is waiting on you. John and Thomas are in the parlor, I believe."

No matter my mother's prejudices, I could hardly say that I wasn't going to miss her beyond even what I could fathom. And as I descended the stairs, I was never more aware of that fact that I was in that moment. But as soon as I laid eyes on my brother and on Thomas who stood beside him, eyes alight with the thrill of something new, I realized that I was on my way to a new life. A _better _life than even I could dream up, sitting here in the house so far away from whatever wonders lay over the ocean.

"Are you ready?" John asked me as we walked out to the carriage. "No second thoughts?"

I shook my head with conviction. "No second thoughts."

"Well, then. Time to go." John crowed, tossing his rucksack in the carriage before climbing in after it. Thomas stood on the street for a moment, looking around, and I stood with him as I did the same.

The longer we took to climb inside, the more impatient my brother was becoming. It didn't seem like a full minute had passed before John poked his head out of the window.

"We don't have all day."

And it was then that Thomas and I both seemed to snap out of our daydreams and come to our senses. I climbed in, followed by John's friend, and the door was shut, forever closing us off from our home as we journeyed to the docks.

Ready or not, it was time to do something that I had only read about in books. It was time to give in to my whims – to travel the world.

It was time to let wanderlust take over and steer me where it would. And this time, it was steering me in the direction of Jamestown, an ocean away.

I only hoped that I was ready for what lay beyond.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you guys for your reviews, favorites, and follows! Like I said before, I hadn't really expected a response from this story at all. So far, I've been pleasantly surprised. I'm really enjoying writing this story and I hope that you enjoy reading it just as much! **_

_**Have a great weekend! **_

_**-lightinside**_

_**(p.s. Everyone reading this, I'm assuming, has seen Pocahontas and knows all about her story and her love for John Smith. It is my intention to focus mainly on Joanna and Kocoum throughout this story. If I need to, I'll tie some parts in, but there's another twist I'm adding. Kocoum will not die! I always found that completely unfair and unnecessary and will bring about the almost war between the English and the Powhatan Indians in a different way.)**_

* * *

After four grueling months of storms, sickness, and more, I found myself racing to the edge of the deck and leaning over while the sailors around me prepared the ship to port.

I'd heard the men complaining at night, wishing for their families or their homes, some of them cried from time to time, though no one ever talked about it afterward. John, of course, being the fearless natural-born adventurer and leader that he was, was the life of the lot. All he did was speak of the wonders we would find when we finally did arrive at our destination and now it seemed that everyone was finally beginning to believe him. Some of the more distracted deckhands that I noticed out of the corner of my eye jumped into action when Governor Ratcliffe came bursting on deck from his cabin below with Wiggins and that prissy mutt of the Governor's in tow.

I didn't actually know what purpose Wiggins served other than fetching Ratcliffe miscellaneous nothings and taking care of Percy, the most spoiled and selfish animal I'd ever come in contact with and who obviously thought himself a prince. Wiggins treated him as one, I knew, and there were times like now as I watched him almost sneer at the rest of us through judgmental, beady eyes, that I wanted to douse him with a bucket full of dirty water used to swab the deck.

John, however, always found the dog a delight. I think my brother enjoyed teasing the rascal just as much as I liked daydreaming about tossing him overboard.

"Joanna?" John's voice was suddenly at my ear. "When we land, don't worry about your things. Thomas and the rest will take them into the settlement. I'm heading out before Ratcliffe can assign duties."

"You had better be taking me with you." I muttered discreetly as I stared out over the ocean and at the fast approaching spread of land before us. It was beautiful at first sight. I could see rows and rows of the tallest trees that I had ever laid eyes on – pines, they were, their needles littering the ground. And I expected this kind of beauty to stretch all throughout the settlement, but I was sorely disappointed.

Before my brother could answer, the anchor was lowered and the gangplank was being placed so that we could begin unloading the ship. I saw right away that _Jamestown_ would be nothing more than mud, crudely chopped wood, and a lone flag that stood flapping in the wind when Ratcliffe and the rest of the men were through with it.

Cringing internally at the thought of them digging up this beautiful land that surrounded us, my gaze shifted to the forest and I realized that I wouldn't be staying in the settlement for very long anyway.

"Of course I am." John said finally, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You think I'd leave you here to assassinate Percy?"

I tried not to smile. "What do you take me for?"

"_Not_ an animal lover."

"I like animals!" I shot back seriously and then gave up. "Just not that one."

John laughed softly and threw an arm around my shoulders, helping me through the throng of men so that we could leave the ship. "You're such a snob, Joanna. Hating animals because they hail from society."

"_Spoiled_ animals." I reminded him, gesturing discreetly to the object of my hatred that was now being fitted with a _hat_ by Ratcliffe's assistant. "That dog is plotting to overthrow the human race. I can just see it in his eyes."

"Think we'd be employed under his rule?"

"As footstools, possibly." I told him, giggling openly now. We were well past Ratcliffe and on land, hurrying off to the edge of the forest, when we were stopped by Thomas.

"Hey!" he called, running over to my brother. "Where are you going?"

Instead of waiting for John to answer, I jumped in the conversation with my own reply. "We're going to have a look around. Don't tell anyone where we've gone, Thomas. Ratcliffe especially. You haven't seen us since we left the ship. Understand?"

"Completely." He answered me with conviction, but I could see the uncertainty dancing in his eyes. "When will you be back?"

I glanced at my brother with a smile. "I wouldn't look for us anytime soon."

"What about Indians, John?" Thomas asked fretfully, looking over his shoulder at the Governor as he arrived on the shore. "You're bound to run into some of them if you just go wandering off."

John held up the rifle he'd retrieved from the boat. "If there are any Indians out there, I'll be ready for them."

I didn't dare open my mouth to refute my brother's statement in front of Thomas, but it made me uneasy. Looking from him to the gun in his hand, I realized that he would sooner shoot the Indians than give them a chance. And it was then that my opinion of him began to change.

When Thomas had gone to greet the rest of the men and receive instructions from Ratcliffe, John and I made our escape. I couldn't help but gape, openmouthed, at the new world I suddenly found myself in. As I walked, I dragged my fingers over the bark of the surrounding trees and inhaled the scent of the forest – a salty pine sort of smell that I knew must have been in existence there because the ocean was so near.

"Look at it, Joanna!" My brother exclaimed, laughing wildly as he began to scale one of the trees. "I couldn't design a wilder or a more challenging land! The adventure that's waiting for us… can you feel it?"

As happy as I was to be there, I couldn't help but think about his earlier statement. "John… would you really shoot one of them even if they posed no harm? The Indians. "

"Joanna." He sighed. "Will you please stop worrying and enjoy this for a _moment_?"

"I am enjoying it." I told him, crossing my arms. "It's beautiful. But the intentions that you have are obviously not pure. You never told me that _you_ supported Ratcliffe."

John's spirits seemed to be dampened by my accusations, but he answered me still. "I don't, Joanna. Not entirely."

The fact that he would only deny his involvement in the expedition partially was enough to set me immediately on edge. "Then you admit it! There is some part of you that is so cold and so inhuman that you would rather shoot someone at first glance on the assumption that they would do the same to you given the chance. How _barbarian _of you, John!"

"Barbarian?" John started at the word. "You know nothing of barbarians, sister. And you know nothing of the world or the people in it and yet you would still side with them over me?"

"Grow up, John." I snapped. "It is not about taking sides with _people_, but realizing the difference between the right and the wrong. And right now, you are in the wrong just like everyone else digging up this land! _'For glory, God, and gold'_? This whole venture is based solely on greed and _you knew_!"

"So did you, Joanna, no one had to say it aloud. And you still came along. What does that make you, I wonder?"

Anger boiled in my veins, taking over in an instant as I stabbed a finger in the direction of his rifle. "And what does _that_ make _you_?"

John's eyes wandered to the rifle and back to me, his expression suddenly softening. "Joanna…"

"You know, brother, I would have liked to believe you were different than the rest of them. I thought so highly of you. I still do, God help me. But you are making a mistake – a mistake that you may not recover from should you follow the course you're on now." I was firm, but I felt like underneath my frank words, there was an air of pleading. I wanted my brother to be different, to be _human_. I thought nothing of the other scoundrels who'd made the trip with us other than Thomas, who I knew would never harm another soul unless he was made to do so against his will.

"I _am_ different." John insisted. "If you would just listen –"

"I'm going for a walk. Come along if you wish, but if not, I'd prefer to be left alone for a while."

"Joanna, you cannot just go wandering off alone! You're not the only one out here!"

"And what have I to worry about?" I cried, dress swishing gently despite my animated movements as I waved my arms about in anger. "_Savages_? Oh, yes, John. The very people we're stealing from killing me in cold blood. Imagine how fitting it would be."

John's features contorted in anger at my flippant statement and he grabbed my arm. "_Joanna_ that is enough!"

Yanking my arm away, I managed to throw him slightly off balance just long enough to gain my own footing and begin to storm off. "I'll be back by nightfall."

Before he could open his mouth to call out for me, I was long gone. This was indeed the most reckless thing I could possibly be doing and I was very well aware of that fact as I tore through the forest, swatting at the trees and bushes as I made my way past. The things that were so breathtaking to me a few moments ago were now tainted with my own anger. I was positively _fuming_, but underneath my anger I knew that I was simply hurt. And underneath my hurt, I was becoming more nervous by the second.

I had no idea how to get back to the settlement. I hardly had a clue where I was _going_! I only knew that I was more lost than ever when I finally stopped walking. And I supposed there was some small part of me that feared that the native inhabitants of this new land might spot me and think me dangerous. Though, the more I thought about it, a woman in a dress couldn't seem all that threatening. Maybe strange, but not threatening.

I had nothing to worry about. All I needed to do was calm down and turn back the way I came. But when I tried to do so, I couldn't tell which direction I had come from. It was a forest! Everything looked the same to me.

For a moment, I thought about calling out for my brother, but found that an unwise course of action. If there _were_ people around, then I would give myself away. So, I bit my lip and decided that if I was lost I ought to make the best of it.

I decided then and there that I would be brave and explore, as John and I had initially set out to do.

After all, what could go wrong?


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hi everyone! I apologize for taking so long to update, but I was preoccupied with a few of my other stories and with some happenings in my life that prevented me from typing a longer chapter than this one that I'm presenting to you now. I hope that it's alright because it is a slight filler - things should start picking up really around the next chapter or two. **_

**_Very quickly, I wanted to thank those of you who reviewed and encouraged me to update: Megan Lyle, warrioroftheravens, Cestrenes97, ObeliskX, Marie Antonia, Kihala Sisters, my guest reviewers, Purdy Girl101, Bella Rayne, Victorylightningfoot, mia, and nightfurry! Fourteen reviews in all, you guys. I've never had so many reviews on one chapter on ANY of my stories before. And the amount of followers I have on this story now after only three chapters!? I never even dared to dream of a response like that. Thank you all so very much. _**

**_I hope you enjoy chapter 4! _**

**_-lightinside_**

* * *

Apparently, _everything_ could go wrong. I'd been walking for hours with no sign of anyone around me, more lost that I had been at the beginning of my journey. My dress was dirtied and ripped along the hem, my feet hurt from walking, and I was exhausted beyond measure when I finally came to a small brook and sat down.

I slipped my feet out of my shoes and placed my aching feet in the stream. The relief that it gave me was almost instantaneous and I couldn't help but sigh aloud. I sat there, on a rock, gazing about at the forest around me. It was truly a sight to behold and some small part of me was content to stay there and never return to the encampment. Since I was sure that there was no one around, I loosed my hair and tossed my pins aside in the dirt, my flaming red locks cascading down to the small of my back gratefully when the deed was done.

And the longer I sat, the worse I felt. I had ignored my conscience and instead given into my wanderlust by coming on this voyage. In the back of my mind, I had known what it would turn into. A bloody, unrelenting war fought between the inhabitants of this strange and wonderful land and us, the intruders that had come to claim the supposed riches buried in their earth.

Closing my eyes as the guilt became almost too much, I stood still for a long moment dreaming of what it would be like to live in harmony with others. I wondered why everyone was so hateful. Why they couldn't put their weapons and prejudices aside and appreciate the differences that bound the human race together. Instead, even the people like my brother in some small way, allowed those differences to poison their hearts and forgot all reason and humanity in the end.

My eyes flew open at the sound of snapping twigs, breaking my concentration, not far ahead of me and landed on a most magnificent sight. A doe stood there, wary because of my sudden apprehension, and continued staring at me with wide, onyx eyes.

I didn't dare move. I longed for the beautiful creature to come closer, but if I lifted a single finger then I might have scared her off. So instead of moving, I spoke. My voice was soft, soothing, and gentle as I tried desperately to make the pretty thing see that I was not her enemy.

"Hello." I whispered, smiling despite myself. "You're very lovely." I told the deer softly, not feeling even the slightest bit of the fool everyone would think me if they had seen me _speaking_ to an animal. "The loveliest thing I've ever seen… I won't hurt you."

And slowly, I watched as the muscles in her neck relaxed and her eyes seemed to lose some of their panic. She even went as far as to take a curious step toward me. Even then, I hardly dared to breathe. If the little thing wanted to study me, then I would let her until she lost interest.

When she was only a few feet from me, she stopped moving, head high in the air as if she sensed something dangerous. In the blink of an eye, she was gone and I was left to wonder what had scared her off. Now, I felt as if I were in the place of the doe that had fled – frightened, frozen, but inquisitive all the same. I glanced around warily, standing up from the rock that I had been seated on so that I could try and get a better look.

_You should have stayed with John, _my mind hissed at me in fear, _you never should have wandered off into the forest ALONE!_

I tried to quiet the beating of my frantic heart, but the adrenaline persisted and coursed through my veins like a poison as it made my whole body begin to throb with the need to run… but my curiosity won out. Finally, I was able to release the shaky breath that I knew I'd been holding and brush my hair away from my face.

"Hello?"

I waited for an answer – I knew logically that someone had to be there. If it had been an animal that had been stalking the deer, it would have gone after her by now. And I could… _feel_ something. I couldn't identify it directly, but it was almost the feeling one gets when they are being watched – almost scrutinized.

"Who's there?" I tried again, keeping my tone even so that I didn't appear to be frightened beyond my wits. I knew that this was a very stupid thing to do – call to whomever might be watching. But what other choice did I have? I couldn't stand there and pretend that I didn't know there was someone there. I wanted to face the problem head on instead of acting oblivious. Maybe then, I could start figuring out what I needed to do. "…Thomas?" I tried again, desperate for the lurking presence to be someone that I knew. "Thomas, this isn't funny. Stop playing games."

I bit my lip and found myself slowly inching forward. My eyes fixed on the underbrush, hand reaching out to move the leaves out of the way, I hardly noticed when my brother came crashing down an incline behind me, but the abrupt and foul sound of his curses brought me to attention.

"John?" I squeaked in alarm, hurrying to his side as he got to his feet and brushed the dirt from his hair and clothes. "John, are you alright?"

His eyes locked on mine, relieved but furious. "I've been looking for you all afternoon, you _idiot_! Where have you been?"

"I told you what I was going to do when I left. I went for a walk." I murmured quietly.

It was then that he noticed my bedraggled appearance. "No, you were lost." A heavy sigh tore its way from John's lips and he shook his head, shifting the rifle higher up on his shoulder. "Joanna. You can't do things like that – no matter how angry you are with me. I was worried sick."

"You shouldn't have been." I said stubbornly, crossing my arms. "I was just fine."

John snorted. "Oh, yes, I can _see_ that."

I frowned, but said nothing as I cast a glance over my shoulder at the spot where I had felt myself being watched. The sensation was gone now. My brother must have scared them off the moment he began shouting profanities. "You wouldn't have found me if you hadn't fallen, John. Don't act so smug."

"Oh, hush, Joanna." John muttered. "Will you please come back to camp with me now? It's not -"

"Safe." I interjected bitterly. "Yes, yes, I know." And before he could retort, I motioned for him to lead the way, all the while wondering what would have happened had he _not_ found me. I wondered what had been hiding behind the bushes, watching me. And I could do all the wondering I wanted, but I knew better than to say anything to my brother.

"So," John began as we walked. "Did you find anything interesting?"

Eyes cast down, voice quiet, I lied to my brother for the first time in my life. "No." I said. "Nothing at all."

And it was then that I was thankful that I had always been the kind of person to keep secrets. I didn't feel guilty if I knew that I had good cause to keep my mouth shut. And in this case, I felt as if I was protecting something.

I didn't know what that something was as of yet… but I was determined to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hi guys! So I know this update is coming a little later than I said it would, but I had a bunch of family things going on (including the family vacation which was more like being in a circus than being on a vacation) and I've been working because everyone decided to go on vacation, it seems, as soon as I got back from my own. And I FINALLY had time to sit down and finish this chapter a few days ago. So, I hope it isn't disappointing considering how anticipated that it has been and I hope you enjoy!_**

**_**IMPORTANT**_**

**_I also have a poll up on my profile page asking for your opinions as to what fandom I should write for next. I'm almost done with my Sherlock fanfic and probably close to the end of this story, I'll begin posting a new fanfiction. The winning fandom will be announced when I'm satisfied with the amount of votes that have been submitted, so go check it out! _**

**_As for those of you who have been reading my Marvel fanfictions (Trust My Rage and Love &amp; War), I'm sorry to say that I'll be taking them both down to do some heavy restructuring, simply because I feel like my writing style has grown considerably in the last year and I feel the need to bring my first stories to the level I'm working at now. Hopefully, though, they will be posted again by the new year if everything goes according to plan. _**

**_Thank you all for your support and I hope to hear from you in the reviews! _**

**_-lightinside_**

**_{P.S. Pray for those poor unsuspecting souls that drive on the same road as I do. I turned 16 yesterday and I'm going to try and get my license before the end of next week. *crosses fingers*}_**

* * *

Attempting to slip away from the encampment was proving harder than I had initially believed it to be. Considering that there was always _someone_ watching me, as John had taken it upon himself to make sure that everyone was informed of my little disappearing act upon our arrival, I could hardly turn my head in the direction of the forest without someone slipping off to inform him.

Thomas was the most persistent of my many guards and was always nearby, but I knew that he longed to explore just as much as I did. Watching Ratcliffe run the men about camp, digging for imagined riches in the earth from sunup to sundown, was an infinitely more boring pastime than I had expected. Every time I heard a shovelful of earth flung into the ever growing piles that surrounded us, I cringed. This was the reason we had been dragged all this way and it was proving to be fruitless and was becoming increasingly destructive. I knew that it was only a mere matter of days before Ratcliffe grew restless and dissatisfied with digging and began felling trees so that he could widen his search. I couldn't fathom what would happen when Ratcliffe realized his dreams of glory were nothing more than apparitions that floated about his subconscious – that there was nothing here to be found that would gain him the respect of all the snooty aristocrats that prowled the King's court.

And I wondered if John was as aware of the impending disaster that realization would bring as I was. Looking about at all the busy men, paying me no mind at all as I sat near my tent, I thought I might have finally found an opportunity to take off into the trees. Just as I began to move to stand, however, Thomas showed his face.

"Joanna?" He asked. "Thinking about going somewhere, are you?"

Scowling, I settled back down and crossed my arms. "This is ridiculous, Thomas. I don't need a watchdog, despite what my brother may think. Don't you have better things to be doing?"

"Perhaps." Thomas agreed. "Does that mean that I'm going to disregard my friend's request to keep an eye on his little sister? No."

"You are younger than me, Thomas, so I would suggest treading a little more carefully if I were you." I growled, shooting him the most withering glare that I could manage. "And what happens when I need to wash up? Will you be there by my side then as well, dutifully standing guard?"

Thomas had the decency to look away, blushing redder than I had ever seen him before. "No, of course not." He muttered. "You needn't be so direct, Joanna. It's indecent."

"What is _indecent_ is the way I find myself being treated. As if I were a young girl, lost in a world that only men are capable of navigating." I stood from my seat, knowing the venom in my voice would make Thomas slump like a shrinking violet. "Well, let me tell you something. I am just as capable of taking care of myself as any man in this encampment, if not more so, and I don't need to go on overcompensating and acting foolish by waving a gun about to prove it!"

Thomas immediately shifted the rifle on his shoulder so that it fell out of my line of sight, almost as if he had been shamed by my words. Good. Perhaps it would give him something to think over. He was much more impressionable than John and I hoped that I could turn him over to my side before any other halfwit that inhabited the encampment reached him first.

"Now." I said, glancing around to make sure no one else was watching. "I would like to go for a walk. Do you believe that you can manage that, or do I have to steal away in the night like a thief?"

"You _wouldn't_." Thomas said, but didn't sound so sure.

"Of course I would." I said, raising an eyebrow as if to question how well he really knew me. "You should know that by now. So, I suggest you get a move on if you would like to still have your head on your shoulders tomorrow morning when John finds me gone and blames it all on you, my _ever_ watchful guard."

Thomas considered my words for what felt to me like an eternity, though it was really only a matter of seconds, before he nodded almost imperceptibly. And when he moved toward the exit of the camp, without me in tow, he turned back with a heavy sigh.

"What now, Joanna?" He asked tiredly.

"Lose that thing attached to your person or, once out of everyone's line of sight, _I_ will lose _you_." I said, gesturing to the rifle. "If we appear as no threat, we have no reason to believe that we will be attacked."

Thomas stared at me in disbelief. "You are absolutely ridiculous."

"No, I am a _pacifist_, as ironic as that is considering I willingly came on this expedition." I stated, and threw a pointed look at the rifle once more. "You may believe me to be joking, Thomas, but you will sorely regret not taking me more seriously when I have disappeared from your sight and you find yourself alone out there."

Thomas heaved another sigh and trudged over before pulling the strap of the rifle over his head so that he could lean over and lay the weapon down by my tent. When he was empty-handed, he stood back up and help up his hands.

"Now, may we go?"

"That all depends. Are you concealing anything else?"

Thomas scowled and crossed his arms. "I might be. But if it is not visible, I see no reason for it to cause a problem. We can't leave ourselves completely unprotected, Joanna. That is beyond unrealistic. Even if we pose no threat, the Indians might not know that and advance anyway."

"Fine." I muttered resentfully. "So long as you swear on the Queen herself that you won't use it unless forced."

"Swear." Thomas promised, holding up his hand as if he was taking an oath.

And so, we left. No one tried to stop us from leaving and those that did look up as we left took no real note of our departure, as I supposed they thought that if I was with Thomas, that John knew where it was we were going. Some small part of me was growing infinitely smugger with each passing moment, knowing that not one of them had a clue in their small brains as to what was going on. And, unfortunately for him, neither did Thomas.

Once we were in the trees, he would have a harder time keeping me in his line of sight. And I knew that he would die before he crawled back to John with the admission that he had lost sight of me after willingly taking me into the forest, mostly unarmed. He had played right into my hands and he didn't even know it. Thomas's gullibility would be quite sad, really, if it wasn't to my advantage at this particular moment.

About ten minutes down the path, I stopped him.

"I need privacy." I said, refraining from further explanation. "Go back toward the camp a little way until I call for you."

Thomas raised an eyebrow. "And you won't run off?"

"Thomas." I said, crossing my arms. "Privacy."

When my brother's friend huffed and began to walk away, I felt my heart begin to race. Freedom was so near – I could nearly taste it. The adrenaline rushing through my veins became almost overwhelming once Thomas was out of sight. I knew that this was the time to run and without a second more of hesitation, I did.

I knew that I only had moments before he realized that I was gone. But I also knew that he wouldn't go run off and tell John right away either. John, when angry, was just about as terrifying as a bear awakened from its slumber and no one would dare stir up that side of him if they could help it. As rare as it was, it did happen and it was _never_ pretty. Thus, my earlier conclusion that Thomas would rather be out looking for me until sunrise tomorrow than go back to camp and report me missing on his own time was strengthened even more.

And the further away from him I was, the freer I began to feel. As if, when I had finally travelled one step too far, everything else that was waiting for me in Jamestown would disappear entirely. That was the most appealing thought that had occurred to me all day.

It was around this time – fifteen minutes from when Thomas had left me – that I suspected he would be coming back to check on me, assuming he'd given me plenty of time to myself. For a moment, I did feel the slightest bit guilty. I knew that he would panic when I wasn't where he had last seen me, but that wasn't enough to give me pause. I went on, tearing through the trees at a considerable pace, and didn't stop until I had reached the water, convinced that I had gone far enough.

The amount of fog that surrounded me, though I was above the waterfall, was almost unbelievable and it shrouded everything in a curious mist that played tricks on the eyes so that, for a moment, I could have sworn I saw a gleam like that of a gun on the stones below that lead across to either side of the bank. It was only a moment later, as my eyes focused, that I caught sight of something different. A woman, crouching several stones away from the bank in the middle of the water, looking for something intently. The manner in which she went about it made me think that it was something she'd held in her sights only seconds before, but now thought it lost.

I never got to see what it was that she was looking for. At the moment she stood, I vaguely realized that I had the same feeling in the pit of my stomach as I'd had the last day I'd gone out on my own. The feeling of being watched.

I had the idea that I should pretend no one was there and go about my business, but I hadn't even made up my mind completely when my body started to turn back toward the trees of its own volition.

And what I saw there was enough to stop my heart.

A mountain lion, belly down on the ground, watching me as if I were her next meal. In my horror, it was all I could do to stay rooted to the spot. I knew I would die sooner if I ran, as all cats, big or small, can never resist the urge to chase a thing weaker than themselves.

So, I waited. The seconds that had passed felt like hours as I waited for the lion to leap. And finally, it did. Vaguely, I realized that someone was shooting at it, but the sound was not the sound of gunfire. I heard the sound of arrows being loosed and the howling of the animal when the arrows hit their target. But I never saw a thing. At that moment something, or rather _someone_, crashed into me just before the animal could swipe at me in panic with its massive paws and the impact alone sent us both flying over the edge of the falls.

Everything seemed to happen at once. There was the sting of the water, cold and unforgiving, the strength of the waterfall pushing me further down away from the surface, someone grabbing my arm, and then… there was nothing at all.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hi guys! I just wanted to thank you for all of your reviews and your incredible patience. I've been working on this chapter longer than I planned, but it also is the longest chapter I've posted on this story. I hope you like it! If I can, I'll try to write longer chapters in the future. Updates can be tracked on my profile page as well as progress on my chapters. I'm not going to keep posting author's notes just because of how much unnecessary room it takes up in the stories, so check regularly to see where I am with my chapters! Also! I wanted to thank Kihlala Sisters for creating a fan art photo on Quotev for Joanna and Kocoum. I'm THRILLED! If you guys would like to see it, the link is on my profile page. And if any of you are ever inspired enough to create any artwork online for my stories, let me know and I'll put the link up! _**

_**Just a little head's up as well, I put some history in this chapter so when you begin to read about the vote and realize it was not in the movie, you should know I did a little bit of research and then proceeded to tweak it. **_

_**Anyway, I hope you like chapter 6! If you want to, leave me some reviews (I love them!) and have a wonderful rest of the week!**_

**_-lightinside_**

* * *

I awoke coughing. Water produced itself from my mouth without much effort on my part, though I could feel myself squirming in the dirt of the bank as I tried to turn over so that I was on my hands and knees in an attempt to make the process easier.

My vision was swimming, my lungs burned, my body ached, and all the while it never once occurred to me that my savior, whoever they were, might still be near. Though, when everything was finally enveloped in a strange sort of calm, I finally noticed the lurking presence. I was dripping wet and not in much of a position to act defensive, so I remained on the ground. Tiredly, I glanced over to my right expecting to see Thomas… but saw someone else entirely.

A man, slender in build though tall he was with black mowhawked hair, dripping from the water, that was adorned with a now drooping white feather. His skin was tanned both naturally and from the sun; his bare chest was decorated with the prints of a bear, etched clearly in red paint. And his eyes, dark brown and particularly brooding, studied me in a most serious manner.

I gazed up at him in silence, too stunned to utter a word aloud. I could only imagine how I must have seemed to him then. There I was sitting on a muddy riverbank, dirty, dripping, and disheveled. I wished that I had the courage to speak up, and knew that I would have had he not been regarding me with such blatant contempt.

Though if that was how he saw me, as just another white invader, why would he have taken the trouble to spare my life?

Trying to ignore his vicious stare, I stood shakily to my feet and tried to brush the dirt from the palms of my hands as I wondered how in the world I was going to thank him for what he had done. Not everyone spoke English – I was not so naïve as to believe so. In all likelihood, my rescuer spoke his own native dialect… which meant that for us, communication would be impossible.

And just as I opened my mouth to utter my thanks despite knowing such a thing, the wind began to blow. The gust itself caught my attention immediately, as the strength and suddenness of it alone were enough to take my breath away. I watched as it picked up the leaves from the ground, stirring them around our feet in a mass of color before it worked its way up and over my wet skin and dissipated just as suddenly as it had begun.

When I looked back over at my rescuer, some of the contempt and hostility in his eyes had been overtaken by a discreet sort of curiosity. I wondered what could have initiated such a drastic change, but decided not long after that I shouldn't question it.

"…Thank you." I murmured, much to his obvious surprise. "You saved my life."

He said nothing for the longest time and I thought for a moment that he might not say anything to me at all. How was I to understand him if he did? How could he have understood me?

"Stay away." He said finally. "An innocent creature was killed on your behalf. Only fools would make so much noise in a place which they do not know and do not belong."

I could feel my mouth hanging slightly ajar, realizing I understood what it was that he was saying, and closed it immediately. "I was to be that _innocent_ creature's next meal. Do you dare tell me that this is my fault?"

My rescuer hardly paused, his eyes narrowed in anger as he spoke. "_Yes_."

Though I was feeling quite incensed at this moment, I was also ashamed. I should have known better than to go stomping through a strange place – it hadn't been my intention for an animal to be hurt or killed. Even one such as a mountain lion. "Then I sincerely apologize."

My response, it seemed, was the one that he had least expected. I didn't know what I should have said then. I stood there, looking between his face and the ground stupidly, wondering if he would depart if I stayed silent long enough.

He did not.

"I do wish to know, however, if that is all you wanted to say to me." I said, my temper flaring noticeably as I attempted to hide my discomfort. I wished the silence was not so severe. I felt as if things would be considerably better if he would simply speak to me, whether he was angry or not. "Was your purpose in staying by my side to chastise me like a child for an accident it was too late to prevent?"

Silence.

"Well isn't this just wonderful?" I asked myself in a mutter, starting off in the other direction in an attempt to find my way back up to the top of the falls. "Saves your life and then what does he do? Tries to run you off in a fit of irritation."

I hoped that he couldn't hear me, but to be dreadfully honest I don't think I cared all that much in the moment. The proper English woman buried deep inside me, the part that actually possessed manners worthy of such an upbringing as mine, cringed at my behavior. I knew what I would ask myself if I had been her. _What would Mother say_?

But did it matter to _me_? Absolutely not. It didn't matter to me whether anyone else found my behavior to be less than proper. My rescuer was turning out to be quite the pill and if he was going to take it upon himself to ignore me, then I felt I could be put out all I wanted.

"JOANNA!" A voice shouted far off in the trees. "_JOANNA_!"

I groaned. Thomas, it seemed, had finally caught up with me. With a glance at the now wary man standing just twelve feet from me, I turned my eyes back toward the forest. I could just see it over the ledge of one of the large rocks protruding from the top of the falls.

"John is going to have my head, Joanna!" I heard Thomas call, defeat plain in his voice. "Next time, I swear, I will _take _you for a walk. You don't have to keep running off."

At this, I saw my rescuer look at me inquisitively, as if something about my situation was familiar to him. I sighed. There was no time to ask the questions I truly wanted to ask. I took a moment to calm down and focus on _not_ falling and began the long climb to the top of the rocks where I knew Thomas would surface in a matter of minutes.

I looked back at my rescuer for only a moment. "Go," I told him. "And perhaps when next we meet, it might be under better circumstances."

I didn't believe it for a moment. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that things would only decline from that point on. Ratcliffe would not easily be satisfied by the slow progress the men at camp were making. John would allow it all to go on without a word. Thomas would be at my heels each time I rose in the morning and would stay there until I slept at night. There was no possible way that any good could come of the whole venture. And whether I would meet the Indian again, I was not sure at all.

I surfaced from the bank below, damp and muddy as I waited for Thomas to appear, and soon he did. His face relaxed the moment he saw me and he heaved a large sigh as he made his way over to my side.

"Good God, woman." He said. "I thought you were dead."

"You thought wrong." I replied, hoping he wouldn't take notice of my appearance just yet. "I'm a Smith. We're much more resilient than anyone gives us credit for."

Thomas rolled his eyes. "I give you credit, Joanna, but clearly not _enough_. That was terribly clever of you. That stunt you pulled back in the woods."

"Yes, well, I hope you learned your lesson." I muttered, knowing that surely I had learned mine. Being lunch for a mountain lion had certainly not been on my list of to-dos for the day. It was only by the sheer luck of having other eyes watching me that it did not come to pass. I wondered for a moment if it had been my rescuer, or another, watching me my first day in the forest. I wondered what I would tell Thomas if he asked why I looked so horrid and consequently wondered about my rescuer. And it was only then I regretted not asking the man's name. Calling him 'Rescuer' would surely grow dull. I was tiring of it already and wished that I had something else to call him.

'Bear' perhaps. Or Charles, in the spirit of my mother's long deceased, but equally as humorless brother. I remembered him only vaguely from my childhood, but recalled enough to know that I did not like him. He was so… _serious_, as this stranger seemed to be. I wondered if this was the way of life here, or if he had only become serious to deal with invaders like me. I could not blame him if that was the way of it. I could never imagine him in good humor though I had only been near him for less than half of an hour and did not know him well at all.

"I did." Thomas promised. "More than learned it, I committed it to memory." It was then that he looked me over. "What in blazes happened to you? You're wet. And muddy. Did you fall? Are you hurt?" Thomas didn't give me time to answer before groaning. "Oh, John is _surely_ going to kill me."

I sighed. "Hush, Thomas. John doesn't have to know everything. He is _not_ my keeper. And yes. I fell. Now, let that be the end of it and stop fussing and lead the way back to camp."

He looked slightly stunned for a moment before nodding. "Alright. I don't see why you're so eager to go back after you went through all of that trouble to dupe me so that you could slip away, but yes, I'll take you back."

As we walked away, I spared one last look at the waterfall, wondering if others were watching us as my rescuer had. And I found myself hoping that by a most lucky chance, I would run into him again.

"Glad to see you survived." I told Thomas on the way back. "I half thought you would get yourself lost before you ever managed to find me."

"I almost was food for a most vicious looking rabbit." He said, seeming quite serious but that had always been his way of things. His jokes were shrouded in severity and though this one was obviously a poke at me in an attempt to lighten the mood, there were times when I couldn't tell if I should laugh or agree. "I did see Wiggins at one point. He was looking for that blasted dog, calling for him like his life depended on it. Much like I was calling for you. I felt sorry for him. If only a little."

"If Percy got away, then I must congratulate him. However spoiled, it must be terrible to belong to a man like the Governor." I murmured bitterly.

Thomas opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to a halt and I might have protested had he not looked as though he was about to be fed to wolves. I followed his gaze and found what it was he was looking at.

My brother.

"Joanna!" John called, sprinting for me. I could tell right off that he was in incredibly high spirits and knew I needn't worry about being scolded. That was an absolute blessing for the poor boy standing next to me. "I have to talk to you right away. I was out, looking around, and –"

"I think I'll be going back now." Thomas interrupted him, wringing his hat in his hands for a moment before slapping it back on his head. "I have faith that the two of you can make it back?"

"Yes, yes." John said, hurrying him along. And then, once he was out of sight, John turned to me. "Joanna, I met one of them."

I raised a brow. "That could encompass any number of people, John. Do be a little more specific."

"One of the Indians. A woman."

A woman… my thoughts were immediately redirected to the gleam I had seen nestled in one of the spaces between one of the waterfalls and the large rocks that created the bowl around the bank that I had been forced to scale. I thought it was a gun then, but had been convinced I was wrong. There had been no one that far out but me, or so I thought. I remembered the woman standing on the rocks, seeming as though she had lost something. And I realized at once that she had been following John, much as my rescuer had followed me.

I gasped before I could think about it. "It was you! You were the one down by the falls. You were going to shoot her! John _how could you_!?"

John's mouth fell open, as if I had wounded his feelings. "What do you mean, shoot her? I thought she was going to kill me. I didn't even know it was a woman until the moment I… I would never have – wait just a moment, Joanna, how would you know that? Were you there?" He looked me over for the first time and disapproval was evident on his normally so gentle face. "_Joanna_."

"Well, I…" My mouth opened and closed as I tried to find the words to defend myself. I thought for a split second about claiming to have had a vision, but that was absolute codswallop and John would know it. "I… absolutely don't see what that has to do with anything. My whereabouts are irrelevant."

"Irrelevant." John scoffed, scowling. "And how, if I may ask, did you come to look like _that_? You look as though you had a fall face-first into a mud pit."

"I might've." I said, sticking my chin into the air defiantly. It was a trait that I shared with my mother. "And that was all there was to it. If you really thought for a moment that you could keep me locked away at the encampment, then I must say you really don't know me at all."

My brother sighed heavily and shook his head. "I suppose I don't."

"Well, then." I cleared my throat. "Go on telling me about the woman you met. Or was that all you had to say?"

"No, actually, I –"

"Wait. Is that where you've been all morning?" I asked, crossing my arms. I was beginning to be very irritated with John. He was becoming the very personification of the hypocritical attitude that existed in most high society men in England, telling me not to do something while he sneaked away to do it himself. I recalled specifically the vote conducted the afternoon we landed. It had just begun as John and I arrived back at the encampment after I had first slipped away. I wished to participate, but was told that it was not a woman's place to voice her opinions in a matter that was not her concern. I still burned over that. I thought it right that everyone living in the settlement, even the women, should have a right to have a say over who was put in charge. Generally, I found it all to be very unfair. "Out frolicking about with a stranger you met not but an hour and a half ago?"

Another sigh. "Joanna."

"It's very indecent." I remarked, frowning.

"My spending time with a strange woman?"

"No, not _that_!" I said, as I had never been one to care about social boundaries. "You ordering me about as if I was still a little girl while you go off adventuring. You brought me here so that I could see the world. Or a small piece of it. Do you not remember that? And now you practically have Thomas chained to my side to keep me in line while you…" I shook my head. "It's just very indecent of you."

"I'm sorry." John said and I truly believed that he meant it.

"Yes, well," I began, trying to brush the whole ordeal aside. "Anyway. Tell me about her."

John smiled. "Her name is Pocahontas."


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hi guys! I'm terribly sorry about the wait. I've gotten several reviews asking me to update, but I've been so blocked that I haven't been able to write very much over the last month. However, I think I've turned out an okay chapter despite that. I hope you guys like it! I'm so grateful to all of you for your support and I absolutely love hearing from you and reading your opinions on my story so don't hesitate to review! _**

**_Much love to you all!_**

**_-lightinside_**

**_{Chandler, save your tears, this one is for you.} _**

* * *

In the weeks to come, John sneaked away from camp on a regular basis and though he told me nothing of his destination, I knew that he was off visiting Pocahontas. He smiled more often, voiced his opinions more freely, and it was only recently that I realized my brother no longer felt the need to carry a gun. There was no way in heaven or on earth that the influence for such behavior was anything if not a woman. And while Thomas found his behavior to be very odd, I never played into his suspicions. In fact, I did my best to ignore them. I liked the change I was seeing in my brother, but more than anything, I liked that John was happy.

For now, before Ratcliffe smelled trouble, I thought they should be left alone to continue on in that happiness, as rare as it was. Certainly in times such as these, both John and Pocahontas, though a stranger to me, deserved that much.

On a day like today, left to my thoughts in John's absence, I wondered about my rescuer more than anything else. And it was this distraction of the mind that led me to be knocked off of my feet, quite literally.

"_Joanna_!" Thomas sighed, squatting down beside me as she sat up with a scowl. "You begged me to do this. The least you could do is pay attention so as not to allow me to damage anything of vital importance."

"Shut up, Thomas." I growled, getting to my feet. "You knocked me over in a moment of distraction. Since that is the first time you have managed it, I would not say it is something to boast over."

Thomas frowned. "Teaching you how to fight isn't something John would necessarily approve of. I'm not going to beat you black and blue only to have to explain the discoloration later. I'm quite fond of my life, really. I would like to hold onto it as long as possible and in order to do so, I have to appear as though I'm keeping you safe."

"You are," I told him, keeping my exasperation in check. We were wasting time, chatting like this. But Thomas was right to worry. Truth be told, I was just as worried as he was, but in a different way. If I didn't learn to defend myself, I would always be at the mercy of the people around me. And I was becoming tired of the feeling that I was a burden. I wanted to be able to have the comfort of knowing that no matter what came my way, she could be ready for it and act accordingly. Thomas was helping me achieve that, no matter if the sessions went poorly. That was mostly due to his fear which held him back considerably when attempting to teach me properly and consequently made me angry so that by the end of our time together, I had stormed off and Thomas was fretting about where to begin looking for me.

"If I don't learn these things, I am more prone to dying out here than any of the rest of you. I'm not like the other women here, Thomas. I don't relish staying behind to look after the men, so I wander off. You know that better than anyone. And not knowing what to do should a dangerous situation arise puts me in a most compromising position."

"I thought you weren't afraid of the Indians." Thomas reminded me with a look of almost innocent confusion. It was times like these that made me recall just how young he truly was. "Why is it that you feel the need to learn things like this?"

"I don't know what is going to happen. Things could go very wrong before we leave Virginia. Ratcliffe becomes more restless by the day; there is not a single piece of gold to be found here. He may very well pursue the Indians if he does not soon find what he wants and then we might find ourselves in the middle of war."

Thomas seemed surprised, as though he had not yet considered this. He thought quietly for a moment and sighed. There was no argument to be had. He knew I was right and that was all there was to it. In that moment, though it was not historical, I had to fight myself to keep from feeling too smug. Being found to be in the right was something I found early on in my life that I liked. "And that is the only reason for all of this?"

"That…" I said softly, looking away from him and into the forest for a moment. "And the fact that when that war comes, I want to look it in its face and not feel afraid."

"You act as though it is already upon us." Thomas noted. I thought I heard a hint of worry in his voice as it shrunk away into silence and wondered for a moment if Thomas had the same suspicions as I did, despite his denial. Perhaps everyone sensed that something was coming. Maybe the feeling that I had in my stomach, the one that nagged at me more and more with each passing day, was something that was slowly working its way around to each and every person involved in this fateful venture.

"It is only a matter of time." I said. "Greed is a funny thing, Thomas. It blinds you, hardens your heart, silences all sense of reason in your mind, and before you know it, you're a stranger even to yourself. Ratcliffe went through the transition years ago. He does his best to hide it, but I can see it every time I look in his eyes. He plays the part of the martyr very well, wouldn't you say? Acting as though this trip was a tremendous sacrifice while he tears down the forest and hunts down those who would only seek peace if they felt not the need to defend their home."

"I believe you judge him too harshly, Joanna." Thomas murmured. I looked up at him in silence, searching his face for an indication as to whether or not he truly believed what he was saying. He didn't.

"And I fear you will find out just how right I am much too late." I replied.

"Then perhaps we should leave." He declared firmly, having made up his mind in only a matter of seconds that it was the best course of action. "Ratcliffe has nothing to show for his time here. We should try to convince everyone to turn away and sail for England, surely they will, Joanna, won't they? They already fear the Indians; fear is a terribly strong motivator."

I felt my heart sink. I had been too blind to see it before, when all I wanted to do was run from my mother and from expectation and from responsibility to see the world, but embarking on this journey might very well have been the equivalent of signing my own death certificate. Fear was indeed a terribly strong motivator, but not in the way Thomas hoped for. John was lost in love, Thomas in his innocence, Ratcliffe in his greed, and I was the only one actively looking for the disaster the days ahead would bring. This conversation would not weigh heavily on Thomas for long. We would go about our business and he would think of other things and all possible dangers that lurked in the almost deceitful beauty around us would be forgotten.

"Perhaps they will." I told him, though the untruth of my words cut me to the core. "But enough talk about it for now. We can finish our hour out and then go on with our day. I planned to go walking this afternoon."

Thomas frowned. "Between you and John, I hardly know if you're coming or going."

The hour passed, both Thomas and I doing an equal amount of landing hits and falling down. I had become more distracted by the end of the lesson than I had been before our conversation. It was nearly noon. The prospect of that was almost enough to bring a smile to my face; I had somewhere to be.

I hugged my friend, slapping his hat crooked as I pulled away with a smile.

"I will see you later, yes? At the bonfire."

"I think so. Unless Ratcliffe puts me on nightly patrol again." Thomas said with a soft sigh. I knew he was sick of being treated like the odd man out. I knew why that was, but God help me, even if he was a clumsy little blighter, I loved him like a brother. Naturally, everyone's treatment of him was a constant source of bother for me.

"If he does, I will sneak away and come keep you company." I replied happily despite the storm clouds that were rolling through my mind. I knew I would have to bring him dinner as well, as the rest of the men neglected him just as much as Ratcliffe disregarded him.

Thomas laughed. "Your specialty, it seems." And then, he nodded. "That would be much appreciated, Joanna, thank you."

"Of course." I said, and glanced back toward the forest. "I'll see you then."

And that was where I left him, standing amidst the sycamores with a goofy grin on his face, all of his troubles forgotten as I had suspected they would be. I strolled through the bright afternoon sun, distracted but content as I made my way back to the waterfall where I had first run across my rescuer. The sound of the rushing water lulled my overactive mind into a meditative rest as I raised my eyes from the ground to search my surroundings for something very particular.

"I see you made it without stringing any casualties behind you." A strong voice called out to me, making my heart leap in my chest.

I turned to face him. "And _you_ still have not learned how to make your presence known."

My rescuer's eyes danced with laughter that he did not otherwise show. "Is that not what I just did?"

"You frightened the wits out of me, Kocoum. I hardly think that would happen if you were to give me some forewarning." I said, accusation plain in my tone though I hardly meant it. I was elated to see my friend. We had been meeting more and more frequently as the weeks passed, talking very little at first, but finally having progressed to the point of establishing a comfortable banter we were much more comfortable around one another.

"Do you wish me to stomp about through the forest as you do?" He asked, raising one brow. "Maybe if you were lighter in your step, mine would not bother you as they do."

"Maybe." I said softly, taking in his appearance with a smile. "It's good to see you."

He only nodded his head. Social progress aside, personal admissions were not his strong suit and mine, when given, made him profoundly uncomfortable. So I moved on to other things.

"I came, really, to tell you that my company is growing restless. I fear what they might do given another month's time. Warn your chief. Be on the lookout, do whatever you have to do. Just know that something is coming." As I spoke, my stomach was twisting itself in knots thinking about all the things that could happen. I didn't know when. I didn't know what. It was just a suspicion, but it was growing stronger by the day.

"They feel it, like you do." He said, confirming what I felt I had already known. "Something _is _coming. More warriors arrive by the day at our request and they are ready for a fight should one arise. Though you warn me, you should also be on the alert."

"Would they openly attack the encampment?" I asked, my heart in my throat as I considered the fact that Ratcliffe may not be the one to initiate a war, as unlikely as that seemed to me at that particular point in time.

"Not until provoked." He replied. "One of our warriors was wounded in the forest just yesterday. If he had lost his life, I doubt we would be speaking now."

I thought back, wondering why I had not been made aware that there were shots fired between our men and the Indians. True, I had been away from camp all day, but I would have thought that Thomas would have told me. Storing that thought away for later, when I could scold him for it, I looked up at Kocoum.

"Be careful. I will do my best to diffuse the tension among the men through the mouth of my brother, but I ask that you do the same. I would like it very much if lives could be spared instead of lost."

Kocoum dipped his head in acknowledgement and glanced over his shoulder as if he had run out of time.

"Stay out of the forest tomorrow." He told me as he moved away. "I will come to you when there is more to tell."

I raised an eyebrow. "How will you get past the guards? Should I not sneak away so that you don't risk yourself?"

Kocoum mirrored my expression. "Unlike some, I tread lightly."

And then, just as I felt myself begin to smile, he was gone.


End file.
